I’m Trying, But My Spouse Isn’t

 

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Picture Courtesy of P.C. Vey Readers Digest

 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a variation of the phrases “I’m trying, but he isn’t”,  “I’m sticking to my budget but she’s not”, and “I’m ready to retire, but he’s not”.  There are many things my spouse and I don’t agree on. As an example, I am a risk-taker and my wife is not.  My wife doesn’t like to look at the budget but I do. She is perfectly fine shopping cheap and I’m not.  The list can go on and on.  But, one thing we do as we navigate through some of life’s most difficult challenges, is talk and come up with a plan.  Marital unity is absolutely critical when making important financial decisions and also dealing with the day to day minutiae of budgeting, shopping & other daily spending decisions.

 

For many of us, we weren’t modeled how to manage money well as children. Worse yet, we weren’t modeled how to talk about money with our significant others. Some of us may even have searing images implanted in our brains of our parents screaming and fighting in the kitchen over money.  So, it’s no surprise that many of us don’t know how to talk with our spouses about money.  For that matter, some of us don’t really know how to talk to our spouses at all. If this is true, how do we begin to have dialogue with our husbands and wives that will be beneficial for the whole family.

It’s no secret to some of you reading this article that I’m going to quote the Bible. And, for some of you who don’t know that I do that…YES!!! The Bible!. 🙂 I think the first thing I will share is that if your spouse “doesn’t want to listen to you”, you should probably consider what you’ve been saying and how you’ve been saying it. Sometimes your spouse just feels too much pressure from you when it comes to accomplishing the goals you’ve set forth. Maybe you come across as a dictator.  Maybe you’re an Ephesians 22-24 guy and you love these verses:

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything”. 

But, if you’re forgetting Ephesians 5:25 that goes along with these verses, then maybe you should consider re-reading this passage.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. 

Last time I checked, Christ’s love is the most absolutely sacrificial kind of love ever demonstrated to mankind. Are you showing your wife this kind of love when “she’s not submitting” to what you say? Just a thought…

Now, maybe your the wife saying “My husband just won’t lead. He should be taking charge of this.”  I find no scripture verse that says your husband has to be perfect at everything and take the lead on every single matter that comes up in your house. As a partner in your marriage you are capable to take the lead in many areas and help manage the finances.  I say finances as that is what I’m writing about today.  What’s the point of all this?  Using the title of a new tv drama…., THIS IS US.  This is how we sometimes relate to each other. This is how we sometimes speak to each other. When it comes to goal planning, I’m quite certain God’s intention wasn’t for one person to handle everything and the other person to be completely in the dark or complacent about matters.

So, what can you do? What can you say? The answer is I have absolutely no idea! I don’t know you. I don’t know your financial situation and I don’t know exactly why “you’re trying, but your spouse isn’t”. But, I could recommend a few ideas that you might find helpful. First, we must speak kindly to each other and not blame one another when things don’t go right. When it comes to making good money decisions and being on the same page as your spouse, it’s important to have clear and peace filled dialogue.  Ask your spouse questions like “what’s important to you right now about our finances?”, “where do you see us in 5 years and how do we get there together?”, “how does this purchase help us with our goal of funding education for our children?” “what do you think about talking to a financial planner?”. I had to throw that one in….;-) Kidding aside, you must find a way to communicate with your spouse about money in a way he or she understands. A couple of resources I could recommend… Find a “Financial Peace University” class in your area. Find a good counselor who can help you process some of the issues you need to address with marriage and finances.  I’m partial to good Christian counseling and I can recommend a few good counselors if you’d like.  Go have a talk with your Pastor.  Read Randy Alcorn’s book “Money, Possessions, and Eternity”.  There is so much you can do.

Most importantly, you aren’t alone. I’m writing about this topic today because it’s been a recurring theme in my practice lately.  I’ve sat with couples as tears have overflowed because one spouse has plan A while the other spouse is focused on plan B. I’ve sat and heard stories of marriages on the brink of divorce because the two couldn’t agree on a financial direction. It doesn’t have to be that way. There are things you can do to make your marriage and your financial situation better!  If you need help, please don’t hesitate to reach out and ask.  Please share with us a story of how your marriage and finances have improved! We’d love to hear it.

Jose Cuevas
Vice President
Wisdom Investments
847-290-0753
jose@wisdominvestments.com
www.wisdominvestments.com

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What Do You Mean I Need To Give More?

Giving

As a financial advisor who claims to operate a Christian Financial Planning practice, I feel I have the duty to my Christian clients and to God to have conversations with them about giving. In my own life, I’ve had ups and downs when it came to my giving. Opening my own practice dramatically affected my giving, but I know as the company grows, my giving will be far greater than it was in the past. But, during my times of radical giving and obedience to the “Tithe Principle”, I found that my life was becoming more and more blessed beyond anything I could have imagined. The “Tithe Principle” says this from Malachi 3:10: “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it”. I have seen the promise attached to this Scripture verse come to fruition in my own life.  As my giving increased, I started to receive promotions at work. As my obedience increased, I saw unexpected family blessings happen that I never would have anticipated.

When my wife and I first decided we were going to try to live the Christian walk, someone we don’t know and still don’t know to this day sent us a card with a letter inside. The letter said many wonderful things, but what I will remember most is the card had the scripture verse from 2 Corinthians 9:6-15 which says, Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.  Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.  As it is written: “They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor; their righteousness endures forever.” Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, others will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! Again, I have seen the promises of these verses come to fruition in my life. This is my experience with having a giving heart.

Even though my personal experience is my experience, I believe these promises are for EVERYONE. I believe that when we are more giving, natural reciprocal giving just happens in return. This does not mean that we give to receive. We just understand that giving allows us to be more blessed than we already are. How is this related to financial planning? Good question. Since I practice what I call “Biblical Finance”, I need to follow what the Bible prescribes when working with Christian clients. The Bible is a great roadmap for many of life’s decisions, including your finances. In addition to giving, the Bible talks about diversification, debt, lending, taxes & more. By following the money principles outlined in the Bible, we have an opportunity to partner with God to accomplish incredible feats. We have the opportunity to see and hear stories of redemption, overcoming, & change. As an example, immediately following Hurricane Harvey, my church, Willow Creek, had such radical giving from the people of the Church, that we sent 5 semi-trucks filled with relief items for the victims of Hurricane Harvey. That is something to be proud of! When I think about the Bible saying to “Store up treasures in Heaven”, I believe this is a great example of storing a treasure for Heaven. People’s lives will be changed because of the generosity of those who have decided to give.

As a Christian, you should examine your giving. You should pray about what God has asked you to give and follow through. I have no doubt your life will be abundantly blessed because of it. If you are a Christian and when it comes to your giving, you are solely focused on how much you are saving for retirement or for your child’s education, you are completely missing the point of the life we have been called to live. If you were one of my clients, I would be obligated to have a conversation with you about your giving. In fact, I’ve done so on a number of occasions. If you are a Christian and you are seeking Christian advice, you might not like what you hear from time to time. I know I will lose clients because I talk about giving, but I believe we all have a bigger calling in our lives than just saving and earning money. As I’ve given advice to the clients who have followed through, the success stories happening will be a great testimony to the proof of the truth of God’s Word.

What’s more important to you, saving as much money as you can? Or, being part of something that is much bigger than you? Do you want to see the “floodgates of Heaven” opened up for you? Do you want to see others thanking God for the good works you have done? As for me, I’m going with the being part of something bigger than anything I can ask or imagine. There is great power within our Church, our Community and our Calling when we decide we are going to give sacrificially and according to how God has asked us to give.

Have a great day.

Jose Cuevas

Wisdom Investments

847-290-0753

Jose@wisdominvestments.com

2nd Quarter Market Review – Should stock investors worry about changes in interest rates?

Should stock investors worry about changes in interest rates?

Research shows that, like stock prices, changes in interest rates and bond prices are largely unpredictable.1 It follows that an investment strategy based upon attempting to exploit these sorts of changes isn’t likely to be a fruitful endeavor. Despite the unpredictable nature of interest rate changes, investors may still be curious about what might happen to stocks if interest rates go up.

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Jose Cuevas
Vice President
Wisdom Investments
847-290-0753

 

1st Quarter Report – Investment Shock Absorbers

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CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO DOWNLOAD THE LATEST QUARTERLY REPORT

Ever ridden in a car with worn-out shock absorbers? Every bump is jarring, every corner stomach-churning, and every red light an excuse to assume the brace position. Owning an undiversified portfolio can trigger similar reactions.

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Many Blessings,

Jose Cuevas

jose@wisdominvestments.com

847-290-0753

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10 Books to Help You Make Smart Choices With Your Money

The Christian Financial Planner

money book Books are valuable, expecially books about money.

When you think about successful money management, what comes to mind? Where do you receive good information? How do you know what books to read to help guide you down the right path?  Most people don’t just obtain wealth out of the blue sky.  If you were to ask most successful people how they obtained their money, they would tell you they worked hard, had some luck/blessing, and they read voraciously. When I first entered the financial planning business, my mentors assigned me a list of books to read to help me understand more about money and how it works.  Since that time 15 years ago, I’ve come across many great financial books and I’d like to share ten books to help you make smart choices with your money. I’m sure 15 years from now, I’ll have a different list of…

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10 Books to Help You Make Smart Choices With Your Money

 

money book

Books are valuable, expecially books about money.

 

When you think about successful money management, what comes to mind? Where do you receive good information? How do you know what books to read to help guide you down the right path?  Most people don’t just obtain wealth out of the blue sky.  If you were to ask most successful people how they obtained their money, they would tell you they worked hard, had some luck/blessing, and they read voraciously. When I first entered the financial planning business, my mentors assigned me a list of books to read to help me understand more about money and how it works.  Since that time 15 years ago, I’ve come across many great financial books and I’d like to share ten books to help you make smart choices with your money.  I’m sure 15 years from now, I’ll have a different list of books that every successful investor should read, but for now, please enjoy.

Disclosure: While I find these books helpful, I don’t agree with every concept illustrated in every book. On your quest for knowledge, you need to determine what works for you and your family.  These book recommendations are not considered to be a solicitation of advice.

If you need help making smart choices with your money, please email me at jose@wisdominvestments.com

Visit our website at www.wisdominvestments.com

 

10) Rich Dad Poor Dad By Robert Kiyosaki:

This was the first book I read when I entered the financial planning industry. Robert Kiyosaki describes how he had two dads. He takes the time to describe each father’s financial and life philosophies and how each dad is deemed with the names Rich Dad and Poor Dad.  The book does a great job of detailing financial ideas and concepts that allow Rich Dad to be rich and Poor Dad to be poor.  The book would be great for the person who is paying their bills first and feels like there is nothing left to save at the end of the paycheck.

RichDadPoorDad

9) The 7 habits of highly effective people By Stephen Covey:

While this book isn’t necessarily about money, I believe this book gives a great blueprint of how to achieve success in your life.  The 7 habits help you to obtain structure to achieve the goals you are looking to achieve in life.  I have found that while the 7 habits aren’t necessarily financial principles, they can be used in almost any financial situation.

7Habits

8) The Millionaire Next Door By Thomas Payne

The Millionaire Next Door is one of the best books I’ve read that smacks American Consumerism right in the face.  This book details for you what a normal Millionaire looks like, what she might drive, and how he might live.  With today’s images of what it looks like to be a millionaire, this book is a breath of fresh air describing how most millionaires are made and live.

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7) The Investment Answer By Daniel Goldie & Gordon Murray

The Investment Answer helps give every investor an idea of what they should be looking for when they invest money. The book addresses concerns such as how to understand the markets, how to pick a financial advisor, & how to make great financial choices. We love to give this book to potential clients.  Even if a client doesn’t choose to work with us, this book will help them make the best decision possible about whom they should hire.

The Investment Answer

6) How to Think Like Benjamin Graham and Invest Like Warren Buffet By Lawrence Cunningham

This again is one of my personal favorites. This book showcases some of the great ideas of Benjamin Graham and Warren Buffet.  If you don’t have time to sit down and read the 725 page book Security Analysis by Benjamin Graham, then this book is for you. This book challenges some of the stereotypical types of investing methods and dives into value investing.  We again like this book because it compliments some of our own investment management philosophies.

How to think like benjamin graham and invest like warren buffet

“Wisdom Investments has been helping individuals and businesses make smart choices with their money since 1999”.

5) Values-Based Financial Planning By Bill Bachrach

This book describes the need for financial planning according to your unique values. Investing according to your unique values allows you to determine what is really most important to you when planning for your future. We all have values that are important to us. Why would you not consider those values when you are planning for your most important goals in life?

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4) Total Money Makeover By Dave Ramsey

Dave’s advice focuses on living a life free of debt and investing money for the long-term. Many people focus on utilizing debt to achieve the things they want in life.  Dave’s radical concepts of approaching all situations without debt can help the individual who has become too reliant on credit cards and bank loans.

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3) The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge By Ted Klontz, Rick Kahler, & Brad Klontz

The Five principles to transform your relationship with money” will help you understand the love affair you’ve had with money and how to change it.  Some people tend to focus on attaining more of this and more of that. This book suggests that if we are constantly seeking for more when it comes to money, we may need to start doing some things differently.

financial wisdom of ebeneezer scrooge

2) The Treasure Principle By Randy Alcorn

Where is your treasure? What kind of riches are you seeking? We’ve all heard it is better to give than to receive. The Treasure Principle seeks to show you how to experience joy through the giving of your money.  Maybe many of us haven’t thought about giving as being a gift, but some people have an inborn desire to give of their resources. How much better could your life be if you decided to “Discover The Secret of Joyful Giving”.

the treasure principle

1) Master Your Money By Ron Blue

Ron’s book shows individuals how to manage their money with a Biblical perspective in mind. Many of us who believe in the teachings of Christ already know the Bible has a great blueprint for money management. Master Your Money looks to describe those concepts in detail while giving real world applications and scenarios to help you understand how you can Master Your Money.

Master Your Money

 

I hope you make time to read some of these great books about money.

“My people are dying because of lack of knowledge”.    

If you need help making smart choices with your money, please give us a call.

Jose Cuevas
Vice President
Wisdom Investments
http://www.wisdominvestments.com
847-290-0753